unraveling

i have been unraveling quietly…

thread by thread…

wondering if becoming holy

always feels this much like breaking.

some nights i sit inside myself

like an abandoned chapel…

asking my Creator

who survives surrender?

what remains when the masks fall away?

and then this hymn found me.

"Love divine, all Loves excelling…"

not demanding…

not shaming…

just descending…

“Breathe, O breathe thy loving Spirit

into every troubled breast”

and God…

i have been troubled.

grieving… yearning…

shedding skins...

that no longer fit the shape of my soul.

but this hymn does not fear ache…

it sings as though love can survive transformation…

as though trembling hearts

are still worthy places for the divine to dwell.

"Finish, then thy new creation…"

not erase me…

not send me backward…

finish.

as if this unraveling

might actually be becoming.

as if every fracture

is making room for more light.

and maybe that is why i cried…

because beneath all the fear

i still want to believe that

i am being remade by love…

not destroyed by it.